He's home. And he said he doesn't feel like this has pushed his strength recovery and such too far back.
He mentioned fishing 3 times, so I think he's doing well.
Us
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
zzzzzzzzz
What's the bigger snoozer? Being in the hospital, or sitting by someone else's bed while they are in the hospital?
Jim's still in Passavant. His temp is broken, but he's coughing too much and his white blood cells are not rallying the way they would like, so he gets the pleasure of being in the hospital over the weekend. Poor guy.
We ate dinner together and I beat him at 2 games of skipbo. Then we watched Joel R. on Glenn Beck show. We know how to party...
J & G
Jim's still in Passavant. His temp is broken, but he's coughing too much and his white blood cells are not rallying the way they would like, so he gets the pleasure of being in the hospital over the weekend. Poor guy.
We ate dinner together and I beat him at 2 games of skipbo. Then we watched Joel R. on Glenn Beck show. We know how to party...
J & G
Thursday, April 24, 2008
98.6
Hi Everyone:
Jim's fever broke. It was probably viral, rather than bacterial, so he's out of the woods and soon to be coming home.
He caught it off of me, and my bronchitis, and we weren't even smooching. :(
Thanks nephew for the offer of cutting the grass and following through. My sister stopped up and said it looks nice, and it does. You did a great job cutting and blessing. I thank you and love you. Thank your wife and kids for letting me borrow you. I'm not mentioning your name, for your sacrifice is a sweet fragrance to the Lord, but you know who you are and I really appreciate it.
Deb, thanks for the offer for food, but we're good. I'll take you up on it if I get sick again before Jim's chemo is over. That was hard. You did the best thing you could have done and that was responded. I haven't heard from you or seen you in so long, and to know that you care and are praying was the best gift I got that whole day, seriously. Thanks so much. I can't wait for this to be over. You and I need another one of those coffee/gabbing dates. Date?
Thanks for your prayers everyone. We hope he's home tomorrow.
Still trusting in Him...just not perfectly
Gloria
Jim's fever broke. It was probably viral, rather than bacterial, so he's out of the woods and soon to be coming home.
He caught it off of me, and my bronchitis, and we weren't even smooching. :(
Thanks nephew for the offer of cutting the grass and following through. My sister stopped up and said it looks nice, and it does. You did a great job cutting and blessing. I thank you and love you. Thank your wife and kids for letting me borrow you. I'm not mentioning your name, for your sacrifice is a sweet fragrance to the Lord, but you know who you are and I really appreciate it.
Deb, thanks for the offer for food, but we're good. I'll take you up on it if I get sick again before Jim's chemo is over. That was hard. You did the best thing you could have done and that was responded. I haven't heard from you or seen you in so long, and to know that you care and are praying was the best gift I got that whole day, seriously. Thanks so much. I can't wait for this to be over. You and I need another one of those coffee/gabbing dates. Date?
Thanks for your prayers everyone. We hope he's home tomorrow.
Still trusting in Him...just not perfectly
Gloria
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
103 Degrees
Hi Everyone:
Jim's temp is 103, and that's on tylenol. His white blood cells are still low, and they can't get his temp down. No word yet on whether there is something else other than the bronchitis causing an infection.
He's in Passavant Hospital. It's weird having his cancer docs at AGH and family doc at Passavant. We like things about both hospitals and dislike things as well. But that's where he's at if anyone is interested. Blogs are great for us, as they save time so we don't have to call sooooooo many people for updates. However, they are a bit impersonal, and we can't feel the love. Or maybe we're just so tired of it all, we CAN'T feel the love. ?
Anyway
US
Jim's temp is 103, and that's on tylenol. His white blood cells are still low, and they can't get his temp down. No word yet on whether there is something else other than the bronchitis causing an infection.
He's in Passavant Hospital. It's weird having his cancer docs at AGH and family doc at Passavant. We like things about both hospitals and dislike things as well. But that's where he's at if anyone is interested. Blogs are great for us, as they save time so we don't have to call sooooooo many people for updates. However, they are a bit impersonal, and we can't feel the love. Or maybe we're just so tired of it all, we CAN'T feel the love. ?
Anyway
US
Pasta anyone?
Women truly are spaghetti. I would have given anything to have my Hubs home here with me last night moaning....
Everybody out of bullets?
I guess you all are more into mercy praying rather than mercy slaying, eh???? Funny, aren't I?
Well, they admitted Jim into the hospital again. This makes it the 6th or 7th time in less than a year...not counting the knee surgery. Did I tell you that I know the cafeteria's menu for most days? Pathetic, huh?
His temp was high, and his white blood count was 1.2. They can't give him a Neupigin shot, which would increase his while blood cell count because he had the Neulastin shot last week (you know, the $25,000.00 shot that lasts 14 days that keeps your white blood cell count up, that doesn't seem to be working this week) so they are putting him on stronger antibiotics. He is aching like all heck because his bone marrow is trying to produce the white blood cells that his body needs, but I guess with the infection, everything is having a battle in there.
So, what is it that makes me more sad, scared, angry, tired, wondering....(fill in the blank, cause I feel it all) Is it:
My poor dear husband has to go through more pain OR
If my poor dear husband moans one more time, I'm going to scream?
I'm so thankful for health insurance OR
Another $250.00 hospital co-pay...yippee?
This is almost over OR
Will this every end?
When will Jim ever get back to work OR
Will Jim have a job to go back to?
How high will the price of gas go up to? (I just had to throw that one in there) :)
Like I said, I struggle with them all. To think that Jim cut some of the lawn 2 days after chemo last time and he's back in the hospital. It's all so draining.
As you read what I wrote you might be asking...
Will she ever stop moaning?
Sorry. I don't mean to moan. I'm just so tired. All I do is work work work, take care of sick people and then work some more, with an occasional vedging out on Settlers of Catan online. I have gained 10 pounds from eating anything that doesn't eat me, and if I weren't soooooooooo darn ornery, I swear this would beat me and make me throw in the towel (I have no idea what that would look like, however.)
Ok, I'm done yapping. Shhhh, what's that I hear at 2:51 am????Oh, it's the grass growing. Well, I better get to bed. I have lots of work to do tomorrow.
Ok ok. I know. I said I would stop yapping.
The "me" of the "us"
Well, they admitted Jim into the hospital again. This makes it the 6th or 7th time in less than a year...not counting the knee surgery. Did I tell you that I know the cafeteria's menu for most days? Pathetic, huh?
His temp was high, and his white blood count was 1.2. They can't give him a Neupigin shot, which would increase his while blood cell count because he had the Neulastin shot last week (you know, the $25,000.00 shot that lasts 14 days that keeps your white blood cell count up, that doesn't seem to be working this week) so they are putting him on stronger antibiotics. He is aching like all heck because his bone marrow is trying to produce the white blood cells that his body needs, but I guess with the infection, everything is having a battle in there.
So, what is it that makes me more sad, scared, angry, tired, wondering....(fill in the blank, cause I feel it all) Is it:
My poor dear husband has to go through more pain OR
If my poor dear husband moans one more time, I'm going to scream?
I'm so thankful for health insurance OR
Another $250.00 hospital co-pay...yippee?
This is almost over OR
Will this every end?
When will Jim ever get back to work OR
Will Jim have a job to go back to?
How high will the price of gas go up to? (I just had to throw that one in there) :)
Like I said, I struggle with them all. To think that Jim cut some of the lawn 2 days after chemo last time and he's back in the hospital. It's all so draining.
As you read what I wrote you might be asking...
Will she ever stop moaning?
Sorry. I don't mean to moan. I'm just so tired. All I do is work work work, take care of sick people and then work some more, with an occasional vedging out on Settlers of Catan online. I have gained 10 pounds from eating anything that doesn't eat me, and if I weren't soooooooooo darn ornery, I swear this would beat me and make me throw in the towel (I have no idea what that would look like, however.)
Ok, I'm done yapping. Shhhh, what's that I hear at 2:51 am????Oh, it's the grass growing. Well, I better get to bed. I have lots of work to do tomorrow.
Ok ok. I know. I said I would stop yapping.
The "me" of the "us"
Monday, April 21, 2008
Hospital trip 7
Jim's temp is up and keeps going up. We're off to the hospital. Please pray for us. It feels like our lives are falling apart.
I am still a bit sick and once again am taking Jim the hospital. This has been a pattern with us. So, please pray for us, or shoot us. We don't care which one it is either.
Us
I am still a bit sick and once again am taking Jim the hospital. This has been a pattern with us. So, please pray for us, or shoot us. We don't care which one it is either.
Us
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Jim's First Post
WHAT ELSE DID THERE USED TO BE?
It seems so long ago that I was diagnosed with cancer. I can barely remember a time when I didn't have it or I was at least waiting on a diagnosis for all the pain I had been having. Illness/cancer and chemotherapy have a way of making time stand still. I can't even fathom how some people go through this battle for years! How do they not give up hope? Even though I know that my salvation is secure in Christ, I still battle not feeling sorry for myself or wonder what the future will bring.
I'm very greatful that the chemo seems to be doing its job! When I was first told that I had cancer, I had anticipated that God would use this somehow mightilly in my life, maybe a means of profoundly changing my very nature. Perhaps He would use it to bring glory to his name through me. Maybe I would be able to use this time to study His Word or seek Him out in prayer in such an intimate way that I have seldom been able to do before. Alas, none of this has happened to any great extent. I do know that God is sovereign and He has allowed this tradgedy to touch my life and my wife's. I just don't get it so far.
The weather has been so nice the past couple of days that I am beginning to feel hopeful. Even though I'm not able to do much, somehow just being outside and doing some small jobs makes life appear that it may become normal again. I felt a great sense of hope today!
I would like to thank all the many wonderful people who have committed to praying for my wife and me during this time! I have no idea what I would have done without all your prayers! Please don't stop yet. I still have a long road to healing, but I especially would like to know what the Lord wants me to take away from all this.
In His Care
Jim
It seems so long ago that I was diagnosed with cancer. I can barely remember a time when I didn't have it or I was at least waiting on a diagnosis for all the pain I had been having. Illness/cancer and chemotherapy have a way of making time stand still. I can't even fathom how some people go through this battle for years! How do they not give up hope? Even though I know that my salvation is secure in Christ, I still battle not feeling sorry for myself or wonder what the future will bring.
I'm very greatful that the chemo seems to be doing its job! When I was first told that I had cancer, I had anticipated that God would use this somehow mightilly in my life, maybe a means of profoundly changing my very nature. Perhaps He would use it to bring glory to his name through me. Maybe I would be able to use this time to study His Word or seek Him out in prayer in such an intimate way that I have seldom been able to do before. Alas, none of this has happened to any great extent. I do know that God is sovereign and He has allowed this tradgedy to touch my life and my wife's. I just don't get it so far.
The weather has been so nice the past couple of days that I am beginning to feel hopeful. Even though I'm not able to do much, somehow just being outside and doing some small jobs makes life appear that it may become normal again. I felt a great sense of hope today!
I would like to thank all the many wonderful people who have committed to praying for my wife and me during this time! I have no idea what I would have done without all your prayers! Please don't stop yet. I still have a long road to healing, but I especially would like to know what the Lord wants me to take away from all this.
In His Care
Jim
Friday, April 18, 2008
4 down, 2 to go
Greetings Everyone:
Well, Jim has had and survived his 4th Chemo treatment and is doing well. In two weeks he will have another CT scan to make sure everything is good and to check on that one lymph node and his swollen spleen. He also is tolerating the Chemo regiment much better than he has the previous times. Who knows why? Who cares? I'm just glad that's true.
He is also pushing himself to do more so that he can get stronger. He has a way to go yet, that's fer sher, but it's so great to see him off all those meds and on the other side of the slope.
I'm still sick, and Jim now has bronchitis, too. We are dueling coughers. His has just started and he goes to the doc today. Hopefully this won't land him in the hospital.
Anyway, it feels great to be "over the hump" and to only have 2 more treatments to go. Thank you Lord.
I'm still scared though for several reasons, I have heard several cases over the few weeks of people's cancer who has returned. My friend's husband, Arlen Specter, etc. I can't imagine going through this twice and yet people do. My dad continues to be a source of energy zapping, as it's always something new with him. It's without end there, plus I still fear for his salvation, and struggle with guilt like I should be doing more...like that is even possible. Ahhhh, guilt...the gift that keeps on giving...a women's not-so-best friend. Oh, when we feel it, we'll run with confidence to God's throne for mercy, but once the "feeling valve" is turned on, oh boy, it's guilt-runamuck. We are also down to half pay now, and we'll be okay, but it will hurt and pinch, and with the price of gas, well....
I guess I could put all my concerns under one umbrella, but I know that won't stop the storm. That umbrella would be called "debts paid." I once thought that if I went through enough pain in life, then at this point in my life, I had now paid my dues. Oh, there might be a few things here and there, and certainly we have to die, but we'll have a great life together, serving Jesus, and enjoying the life God gave us....finally. (what debts were I trying to pay off anyway...hmmm) Now, I'm not talking material possessions and great vacations to blue-watered islands, like some people get... just a nice little life. First, I have to have a sleep study, a mammogram and surgery to have my saliva gland removed. But I was/am wrong. It just may be a struggle until the end. I think of a line from the movie Groundhog Day. "Why should tomorrow be any different? It wasn't today. "
I don't say all this for a pity party. I know other's have it worse. It's not about that. It's just so that I can remember that we live on the other side of Eden with the thorns and the weeds, and something better is coming....and the hope of it HAS to be the anchor of my soul, and if you are reading this, and you've not been blessed with a life of "blue watered islands" and "better tomorrows" or even the opportunity to "serve Jesus the way you've always longed to" then think on this:
Spring comes around every year, and the lilacs smell heavenly. Babies momentarily take away all pain (especially my Honeybee) (let's not mention that they grown up and become teenagers), chocolate is delicious, and there's always fishing in the sun or whatever you like that's little and makes you smile for a while, but when it's all over, and I've accomplished nothing I wanted to, and I've not been Billy Graham to even one person, and the only jewels in my crown may be the jewel of endurance, jewels of hanging in there, jewels of keeping the faith, jewels of pressing on, jewels of maintaining my faith and trust in Jesus our Lord and Savior, not with "joy joy joy joy, where?, down in my heart, but with my toe stuck in the dirt from kicking it so hard, I pray, like the little drummer boy, that the gift I bring is pleasing to him, that my crown filled with jewels of "just barely making it" blesses him as I cast that crown before Him some day. As of now, it's all I have to give.
Trusting in Him
Gloria
Well, Jim has had and survived his 4th Chemo treatment and is doing well. In two weeks he will have another CT scan to make sure everything is good and to check on that one lymph node and his swollen spleen. He also is tolerating the Chemo regiment much better than he has the previous times. Who knows why? Who cares? I'm just glad that's true.
He is also pushing himself to do more so that he can get stronger. He has a way to go yet, that's fer sher, but it's so great to see him off all those meds and on the other side of the slope.
I'm still sick, and Jim now has bronchitis, too. We are dueling coughers. His has just started and he goes to the doc today. Hopefully this won't land him in the hospital.
Anyway, it feels great to be "over the hump" and to only have 2 more treatments to go. Thank you Lord.
I'm still scared though for several reasons, I have heard several cases over the few weeks of people's cancer who has returned. My friend's husband, Arlen Specter, etc. I can't imagine going through this twice and yet people do. My dad continues to be a source of energy zapping, as it's always something new with him. It's without end there, plus I still fear for his salvation, and struggle with guilt like I should be doing more...like that is even possible. Ahhhh, guilt...the gift that keeps on giving...a women's not-so-best friend. Oh, when we feel it, we'll run with confidence to God's throne for mercy, but once the "feeling valve" is turned on, oh boy, it's guilt-runamuck. We are also down to half pay now, and we'll be okay, but it will hurt and pinch, and with the price of gas, well....
I guess I could put all my concerns under one umbrella, but I know that won't stop the storm. That umbrella would be called "debts paid." I once thought that if I went through enough pain in life, then at this point in my life, I had now paid my dues. Oh, there might be a few things here and there, and certainly we have to die, but we'll have a great life together, serving Jesus, and enjoying the life God gave us....finally. (what debts were I trying to pay off anyway...hmmm) Now, I'm not talking material possessions and great vacations to blue-watered islands, like some people get... just a nice little life. First, I have to have a sleep study, a mammogram and surgery to have my saliva gland removed. But I was/am wrong. It just may be a struggle until the end. I think of a line from the movie Groundhog Day. "Why should tomorrow be any different? It wasn't today. "
I don't say all this for a pity party. I know other's have it worse. It's not about that. It's just so that I can remember that we live on the other side of Eden with the thorns and the weeds, and something better is coming....and the hope of it HAS to be the anchor of my soul, and if you are reading this, and you've not been blessed with a life of "blue watered islands" and "better tomorrows" or even the opportunity to "serve Jesus the way you've always longed to" then think on this:
Spring comes around every year, and the lilacs smell heavenly. Babies momentarily take away all pain (especially my Honeybee) (let's not mention that they grown up and become teenagers), chocolate is delicious, and there's always fishing in the sun or whatever you like that's little and makes you smile for a while, but when it's all over, and I've accomplished nothing I wanted to, and I've not been Billy Graham to even one person, and the only jewels in my crown may be the jewel of endurance, jewels of hanging in there, jewels of keeping the faith, jewels of pressing on, jewels of maintaining my faith and trust in Jesus our Lord and Savior, not with "joy joy joy joy, where?, down in my heart, but with my toe stuck in the dirt from kicking it so hard, I pray, like the little drummer boy, that the gift I bring is pleasing to him, that my crown filled with jewels of "just barely making it" blesses him as I cast that crown before Him some day. As of now, it's all I have to give.
Trusting in Him
Gloria
Sunday, April 13, 2008
sick sick sick
Did I mention sick?
Please pray for me (Gloria/Dolly). I am very very ill with either the flu or a cold, which is worse than death to me because of my immune system.
Jim gets his 4th chemo tomorrow and I am terrified of me gettig him sick. I don't know what to do, but ask you to pray. Thanks
Gloria
PS....God sure puts a high premium on endurance, doesn't he?
Please pray for me (Gloria/Dolly). I am very very ill with either the flu or a cold, which is worse than death to me because of my immune system.
Jim gets his 4th chemo tomorrow and I am terrified of me gettig him sick. I don't know what to do, but ask you to pray. Thanks
Gloria
PS....God sure puts a high premium on endurance, doesn't he?
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Left Behind
....This is the book series that never ends.
...it just goes on and on my friends.
...my husband started reading it, not knowing what it was.
...now he's forever reading it, forever just because...
...this is the book series that never ends.
....it just goes on and on my friends.
...my husband started reading.............
does anybody know if they will be done writing the series before the end times???
Gloria
book widow
...it just goes on and on my friends.
...my husband started reading it, not knowing what it was.
...now he's forever reading it, forever just because...
...this is the book series that never ends.
....it just goes on and on my friends.
...my husband started reading.............
does anybody know if they will be done writing the series before the end times???
Gloria
book widow
No more pencils, no more books
No more oxycontin. No more stool softeners. No more laxatives. No more celebrex. No more oxycodone. No more ativan.
Just a few Ibuprofin (from stiff neck from reading Left Behind series)
Oh, and CHOP
C - Cyclophosphomide (DNA altering Drug....Yikes!!!)
H - Hydroxydaunomycin (anti-tumor antibiotic)
O - Oncovin (blocks cell duplication...Yikes!!! What about the good ones???)
P - Prednisone (makes you hungry)
Anyway, isn't it awesome that Jim is off of all these drugs?
Trusting God for the little and big things
Gloria
Just a few Ibuprofin (from stiff neck from reading Left Behind series)
Oh, and CHOP
C - Cyclophosphomide (DNA altering Drug....Yikes!!!)
H - Hydroxydaunomycin (anti-tumor antibiotic)
O - Oncovin (blocks cell duplication...Yikes!!! What about the good ones???)
P - Prednisone (makes you hungry)
Anyway, isn't it awesome that Jim is off of all these drugs?
Trusting God for the little and big things
Gloria
Thursday, April 3, 2008
He walked...
Hi Everyone:
Sorry I haven't been posting much. I have been having a really hard time personally, so it makes it very hard for me to want to come here and post. I wish Jim would come here and post. In fact, I think I shall encourage him to do so. He says he doesn't feel connected to anyone, well....come here Jimmy....Although, he has a personal relationship going with Nicolae or Buck or one of the other characters from the "Left Behind" series. :) He's reading that series, as it's a no brainer and doesn't require him to emotionally respond, or to have to remember something. It did lead to a talk about end times until 3 in the morning. That was dumb, as we yawned all day and didn't know what the heck, we were talking about anyway. LOL. Well, that's not true, but that's certainly true to someone who doesn't hold to the same position that we hold to. And there are many positions. But, I got all excited. It wasn't a talk about "sickness." So I had mouth runamuck and kept talking and talking and talking.
Jim is doing well, however. Today he took a walk. He took my cell phone with him and went across the street and walked up the street. This way if he couldn't make it back, he could call me. Little does he know there is NO WAY I was going to pick him up. He would HAVE to walk back. Just kidding. It wasn't a long walk. But he went past the mailbox. This is good. Also, his nausea is better this trip, as well. We are now over the hump of the worse days before the next chemo. This is where Jim gets a bit stronger so that he can get weak again. But each dose brings something new. He sneezes nonstop at times, and his neck is killing him. It looks like his hair is growing back, too. I've become accustomed to rubbing his head.
So, like I said, 3 down, 3 to go. Glad that he'll only have to go through that terrible rough stuff 3 more times. However...."It ain't over until the fat lady sings...(and that will be me, as I continue to gain weight as I turn to my old pal food), so when you hear me whistling dixie you know we're done. :)
But is it ever really over? Every visit to the doc, and every new CT scan, do you nervously almost die inside hoping that you don't see something again? Cause you know that you have to go through this all over again, but only worse, and join trials, and stem cell stuff and...well, let's not go there. But I wonder, is it ever really over? They say once you make it past the 5 year mark, you....Dear God, please don't allow me to feel this way for 5 more years...oh my!!!I couldn't handle it. I would have to say, bring on that rapture we're reading about.
Trusting Jesus for the little and big things
Gloria
Sorry I haven't been posting much. I have been having a really hard time personally, so it makes it very hard for me to want to come here and post. I wish Jim would come here and post. In fact, I think I shall encourage him to do so. He says he doesn't feel connected to anyone, well....come here Jimmy....Although, he has a personal relationship going with Nicolae or Buck or one of the other characters from the "Left Behind" series. :) He's reading that series, as it's a no brainer and doesn't require him to emotionally respond, or to have to remember something. It did lead to a talk about end times until 3 in the morning. That was dumb, as we yawned all day and didn't know what the heck, we were talking about anyway. LOL. Well, that's not true, but that's certainly true to someone who doesn't hold to the same position that we hold to. And there are many positions. But, I got all excited. It wasn't a talk about "sickness." So I had mouth runamuck and kept talking and talking and talking.
Jim is doing well, however. Today he took a walk. He took my cell phone with him and went across the street and walked up the street. This way if he couldn't make it back, he could call me. Little does he know there is NO WAY I was going to pick him up. He would HAVE to walk back. Just kidding. It wasn't a long walk. But he went past the mailbox. This is good. Also, his nausea is better this trip, as well. We are now over the hump of the worse days before the next chemo. This is where Jim gets a bit stronger so that he can get weak again. But each dose brings something new. He sneezes nonstop at times, and his neck is killing him. It looks like his hair is growing back, too. I've become accustomed to rubbing his head.
So, like I said, 3 down, 3 to go. Glad that he'll only have to go through that terrible rough stuff 3 more times. However...."It ain't over until the fat lady sings...(and that will be me, as I continue to gain weight as I turn to my old pal food), so when you hear me whistling dixie you know we're done. :)
But is it ever really over? Every visit to the doc, and every new CT scan, do you nervously almost die inside hoping that you don't see something again? Cause you know that you have to go through this all over again, but only worse, and join trials, and stem cell stuff and...well, let's not go there. But I wonder, is it ever really over? They say once you make it past the 5 year mark, you....Dear God, please don't allow me to feel this way for 5 more years...oh my!!!I couldn't handle it. I would have to say, bring on that rapture we're reading about.
Trusting Jesus for the little and big things
Gloria
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)