hip n hand

Well Jim's been staying off of the hip as much as he can stand.  And I have been not been using my hand....LOL, YEAH RIGHT.  However, my splint is off, and despite a little pain every once in a while, I feel confident that I can say that I AM NOT GOING TO NEED SURGERY.

Jim's hip isn't hurting him anymore, but he has to follow doctors order to stay off of it.  Of course we are still not following doctors orders to see another cancer doctor, but that's yesterday's news.  I just mention it because...

We struggle daily to cling tightly to the truth.

Philippians 2:14–16

14 Do all things without grumbling or disputing;

15 so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world,

16 holding fast the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I will have reason to glory because I did not run in vain nor toil in vain.

I've done my share of grumbling these past 5 years.  And it makes me sad in light of this scripture.  Jim has done much better than I have.  I do hope that we appear as lights in the world though, and that our race and toil is not in vain. 

So glad

I just had to share this this morning. 

I am so glad God made me the way he did.  It's one of the times I think on His Word where he says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Whether it's God in me, the Italian in me, or the woman in me, I'm glad I'm me, even if it means experiencing everything I have experienced in life. 

I used to be such an emotional pendulum swaying from one emotional extreme to another.  (I think that was the Italian part)  That wasn't really good for someone who is ruled by her emotions and feelings, as I was.  Through the years, with Him as the potter, and me the clay, I am no longer ruled by my emotions.  They certainly play a part of how I feel and the way I act and the things I say, but it doesn't take too long for God to work in my heart and bring balance back.   Oh, I still do my swinging, but when I stop, I find out that I'm still me and I'm still glad.

Because despite all the setbacks, illnesses, loss of friends, loss of ministry, loss of fun, loss of money, loss of my dad, John, Leah and Winston being far away and me not being able to visit, and not being at the ocean in years, (woe is me) in my heart, way way deep down in my heart, there is very strong desire for life, for hope.  And no matter what comes my way, I don't give it up.  Even when I want to.  I have even tried to, but I can't.  It just doesn't burn out.  And I'm not talking about my heavenly hope, the anchor of my soul.  No, that's much deeper and richer and can't even wrap my head around it.  I'm talking about the here and now.  In God's oh so very good loving nature, despite Him allowing all the hardship in my life that he has allowed, I haven't given up on this life, and never will.  When I say I'm sick of it, oh believe me, I am.  It has NOT been easy.  But there is a chance for something more.  Maybe I will see the ocean again and just walk and walk and walk the shore for hours some day.  Maybe Jim and I will play a game and laugh again someday.  Maybe we will be able to visit John and Leah or Bob and Carol.  Probably not, but I won't give up hoping for it.  To give up the desire for life, would be for my heart to die.  And I could never succumb to that.  It's just not me.

So, come what may, Jim and I are going to be okay.  We are doing quite well, considering.  So pray for us.  Pray for us hard.  We NEED that.  But, no matter what happens.  No matter what comes.  God is good.  Life is good, and some day when it's all over, and we really start living, well, get out of my way, I'll run you over in the promised land........but until such time, I'm so glad God made me the way He did, so I can deal with the things He felt I needed in my life, to make me what He wants to make me into, which I hope some day, is a reflection of Him.    Thanks Dad.

what we are doing

We have decided to just go with "Jim's hip is broken" rather than the cancer thing.  If we go to the doctor that the orthopedic recommended, it's going to be another, "Well, it's possible.... blah blah blah.  You need a pet scan, blah blah blah...  And we know that Jim can't do anymore chemo or radiation, so why bother.  So, does Jim have bone cancer, who knows?

My wrist is still hurting.  And my sink is still clogged.  Plumber just left and it will cost 350 buckaroos to fix a pipe for an old 50's bathroom.  Makes me sick.  Now, I know 350 doesn't take care of pink tile, but a girl can dream. 

Going to watch Gomer Pyle.

hip update 2

well, we just came back from hopt.  My hand is swollen and hurts, so this is going to be as short as possible.

doc called this morning and said hip was broke.  we went to doc today.  there was a communication snafu between us and the doctor because of the PA's phone call telling us Jim's hip is broke.  The MRI report says there is a break.  The break is not the type of break that requires surgery.  Just complete bed rest and for Jim to stay off of it.  We told that doc that jim's been on it and it doesn't hurt anymore and he said that that just support his view that there is something else going on in that hip, and that it's not broken, despite the MRI report.  He said there is a lot going on in the MRI.  He wants Jim to see another doctor.  He thinks Jim has bone cancer.

so, we don't know what to do.  we go to another doctor for a second opinion, and the doc will say, well, i can see why he wants you to be seen.  I think you should have a pet scan.  And then we schedule a pet scan and then...?????????

Jim couldn't/wouldn't have any treatment, sooo.  I don't know.  I'm so weary from working one handed, but mainly fighting off the enemy.  okay, gotta run.

hip update

Doc just called from the MRI.  Jim has a broken hip. 

I am soooooooooooo tired of this life.

june/july

ok...typing w/ 1 hand.  here's why.  so i saw the little ones having trouble skating at Romp and Roll during VBS last week, and I of course had to rescue them.  I had so much fun skating.  I felt so free..until the dumb string untied and stopped me dead in my tracks.  I have to wear this splint for 3 weeks without taking it off, except to shower.  I also got a shot.  Can't remember what it's called.  If not better in 3 weeks...MRI and surgery.  oh please.

That's gimp one.

On the same day, gimp two took a spill.  That's his hip.  Went down on cement basement floor.  See his hand.  The bb mark is triple, and this pic makes it look good.  he won't go to the doctor's.  hope he's not bleeding inside with that stupid blood thing

HOWEVER HE'S WALKING.  Something like this would normall affect Jim's life for 6 months.  And he continues to have 4 to 6 good hours a day.  We'll take it.  we were going to go to cottage but who knows now.  i'm not sure who is taking care of who.  :0

I'll try and write more often.  Sorry.  Garden season.

Love us gimps.