rain

We're so glad it rained. My garden was so thirsty.

Jim continues to do well, blood wise. I have not had to give him a shot for low white blood cells in almost 2 weeks. He may not have to ever get another one. That is so very cool to consider. He is 1.5 units shy of normal red blood cells, that's a place he has not been in a 1.7 years. His total neutrophil count is normal, and so WE ARE HEADED TO CHURCH TOMORROW. YIPPEE. His platelets are a little lower, down in the 60's, but the doc doesn't think they will ever be normal.

The neuropathy continues to cause great pain, and he has something weird going on in his fingernails, probably from the neuropathy. He may actually lose his fingernails. This is all very sad for him. He is still on pain meds, and I want him to up them, because the pain from the neuropathy is so intense, but then that affects the bowels, so he won't do that and blah blah blah.

We are spending toooooo much money. I can't believe how much food and such has gone up. We haven't purchased many things for a very long time. Jim needs ALL NEW CLOTHES, cause he got skinny. I need ALL NEW CLOTHES, cause I got fat. I hadn't purchased either of us underwear, socks, shoes, bras...well, Jim--oh never mind. We needed clothes. :) It's amazing the things that we need and have not supplied. Like, batteries. I haven't purchased batteries in so long. We needed D's, C's, AAA, AA... I hadn't changed the batteries in the fire alarms. It's weird to be buying normal household things that you need to live. For instance...sugar and flour and butter. peanut butter. Well, you probably don't understand, but it's weird. And the projects around the house....sheesh. There are so many. Johnny started...oh forget it. I can't get into it. It causes me stress. :) However the gardens are looking good, as I have been enjoying them.

Well, I went to the head doc, and she said that she thinks I'm okay. She thinks that my reactions, response, etc. are very normal considering all the trauma I have been through. She said if I am still responding, reacting and feeling the same way that I feel now, 3 months from now, she'll consider the possibility that I have post traumatic stress disorder, but she would not make that call right now. I mean, I really respond negatively to stress, but she said that's normal. She also does not think I am depressed. I didn't think so either, but at certain times, it felt that way. So, needless to say, that's good news, and I remain med free...all except for that stupid synthroid pill. :)

I continue to discover great things about God. Maybe I should say, I continue to see how great God is. Despite this intense struggle and pain and fear of the unknown future and....I love discovering the truth about the goodness of God and his character. Nothing good ever comes easy, does it?