Doing a bit better...HELP WANTED, TOO

Hi Everyone:

I'm doing a bit better, so thanks for the prayers. There is soooooooo much going on in my head and so many things that God is doing in me. It's beautiful...It's beautifully painful...how about that. My desire is that I come home and it slows down, but God has not told me that. So, I'm learning about being exhausted in today without thinking of tomorrow's exhaustion. :) But I find that much has been stripped of me during these 2 years. I could go on and on and on. Yesterday I discovered that...well, you know what. I'll talk of that another time. I'm really just too worn out to go into it or do it justice. And what the heck. Who wants to talk about the ugliness of total depravity when the sun it out. And yes the sun is out.

BUT...Jim had to go up on pain meds because the neuropathy is just killiing me, and now he can't go to the bathroom for days, and we're back to THAT place. So we are not out enjoying the sun. However, I did get to drive to the drug store for an enema. But we're terrified to use it because of the seton history, so...

Update:::::::::

Next Monday, May 18th, Jim will have his final BONE MARROW BIOPSY of this trial. Thank you Jesus. He has demanded that he be put to sleep for it. He, too, just can't bear too much more pain of this journey. Anywho, then on Thursday May 21st, Jim will have an echo cardiogram, some other tests, and his FINAL PET SCAN of this trial. This is the BIG ONE. Will there or won't there be any residual cancer cells... The doc said there is a small chance that we will be able to get the answer to the test results that Thursday. And the nurse said that we could still come into the day hopt. and clinic the following Monday and Thursday, if we wanted, unless we really wanted to go home. HELLO....... Nooooooooooooo, we'll hang out for an extra week.....What are they nuts?

Anyway, if all things are well, we may actually be heading home on the 23rd or so of May. I NEVER in 100 years would have thought it was possibly considering Jim's condition, even 2 weeks ago. Now, if the PET scan shows there is cancer...well, I don't know what that is about, but I'm coming home anyway. I NEED TO COME HOME. We'll work on plan B then. I don't know what plan B is, and I'm not planning on plan B, but I'm coming home one way or another, and very soon. So, I'm figuring Jim's PET scan is just going to be clean. Besides, it's not like Jim's cancer hangs around growing slowly or something. We would know in a big way in a very short time, so.

It's still scary though. Jim had a temp the other night of 100. He has slight temps every night. Could be the GVHD. We know from the last CT scan, that it wasn't any swollen LN's indicating cancer, but the PET scan will be more thorough. Also, Jim's white blood cell count is still low, but climbing. NO MORE SHOTS of neupogen, which is really great for us both, but his platelets are NOT bouncing back. The docs say that his bone marrow might have just been too damaged from all the chemo and may never come back fully, so...let's just not go there.

Anyway, it's a bit scary to come home. Not in the "not trusting God" way, but in the "I may not be coming home to go to the gym, the cottage, and work in the garden, kind of way.

I don't want to see anyone for 1 month when I come home. I have put 20 pounds on since November. I guess that isn't too bad considering I had been sitting on my butt eating vending food machine for almost 5 months, but still. I'm fatter and I HATE IT. I'll see you all after a month of dieting and the gym...unless you want to come and clean...then you're welcome. ;) Aha, there won't be too many takers for that one. And I can't blame you. Actually, I will love cleaning my house and such. I bet mopping my kit and bath floors will be WONDERFUL...for the first week, anyway.

Someone had offered to turn over my gardens. I can't remember who, but GO TO IT. I have a rototiller in the shed and a shovel. Or you can wait until I come home. But you can't look at my fatness. ;)

But here's my real need and what I need help with. If anyone is passing through MD, close to Washington DC or Mechanicsville or within an hour drive's of 20659 within the next week, this is particularly put out there because maybe someone at your church or my church is on a business trip or something. Anyway, if there is, and you or they would be willing to bring some of our stuff home, that would save me 2 trips, or having to throw good stuff away, or leaving it behind to clutter Bob and Shelley's house up, etc. It's not the end of the world if it doesn't happen, but if it could and it's easy, give us a call. I can meet you whereever you are at. But you can't look at me. :)

Okay, I'm going now.
Pray that Jim can go Numero Dos.