At the NIH

Hello Everyone.

First, I want to mention that I responded to your response in my last post, so go read them if you wrote something.

I am at the NIH right now. Jim is getting his bone marrow biopsy and a few other things. I will not miss the 2 to 3 hour drive every morning twice a week, once we leave here. I talked to MJ yesterday though and she didn't know this, so I thought I would just tell you guys here. Once we leave, we will have to come back to the NIH every week, probably for a month. Then we will go to once every 2 weeks for I think 3 months, and then to once a month, and then to once every 3 months....on down, for the next 5 years. Now, I'm not complaining, particuarly at the possibility of the 5 years later scenerio, but when we come down here for clinic every Thursday, if they order special procedures or tests, we will have to stay at a hotel for a night or two, so in many ways, I think it will still be stressful, so keep up the prayers.

Yesterday, Jim felt a slight bit better with the neuropathy in his hands, which was really good for him. So, we hope there's more of that to come. Walking is still very difficult for him, and if he dials the phone, just that tapping pressure feels like someone is taking razor blades to his finger. When he puts his feet in the cotton ball bin, it feels like he's sticking them in a bin of needles.

I heard either on the radio today that some great man of God (forget his name) made this statement. All Christians find themselves in one of 3 places in their life.
...going into a storm
...coming out of a storm
...or in the middle of a storm

So, quickly I thought, I would rather be coming out of a storm....but once I gave an extra minute to the thought, (after my life passed before my eyes) I was back at that same old place....rapture, judgment day...whatever end times flavor you subscribe to, come on down....

All 3 of those places really stink if you think about it. I mean, who wants to go into a storm. And who wants to be in one. And coming out of the storm means you just were in one and are getting ready for another...

Geeze. I do believe there is a break in between the coming out of the storm and entering into a storm phase. I hope there is... QUICK, SOMEONE TELL ME THERE IS.

What I haven't decided is this: Have I ever exited the storm. What I wonder is, have you?

Does fitting a quick vacation in somewhere every 4 years count as a break? How about a weekend up the cottage? Or let's take it down to the simplest of terms. Is having a toddler make you laugh, or seeing a new bird for the life list, or....________ (name yours) count as that break? I don't really know. I'm glad for those things, but they sure are fleeting. But they aren't as fleeting for some people as they are for others, and to be honest, I thought I was over that, but I still find myself getting a bit ticked once in a while.

I know I shared with you that once I prayed, "God, don't ever make my life so easy that I don't need you desperately." Bob (family we're staying with) says it's all my fault for praying that. He said, "What were you thinking." Now, I wonder.... ;)

Jim prayed that same prayer pretty much about 2.5 years ago. He added the following: "even if it means you have to take my life." Had I known, I would have stopped him. LOL. (this is all tongue in cheek, you know. Even if there were no heaven, we would still bow down to God because He's worthy of it) But you know, there is that kidding on the square type of thing going on. I still would have prayed it, but maybe I wouldn't have used the word "desperately." Maybe I would have used a softer adverb. (that is an adverb, isn't it?) Anywho. BUT WHERE WAS I WHEN JIM PRAYED THAT. What was he thinking? DOESN'T HE KNOW THAT WE ARE ONE. I didn't pray "death." But I got it by default. NOT FAIR. I thought my prayer was noble enough. And why did he wait so long to tell me about that. If he would have only told me, I would have had you all praying sooner...like the day after.

But seriously. I didn't pray that out of my own strength. That was the Holy Spirit that had me pray that, so I am not saying that proudly like, "Oh, Gloria, the mature Christian is such a Holy woman"... you only have to know me and hear me hold down a quick cuss word at something as simple as a stubbing of the toe...but I wonder if I would have said yes to the Holy Spirit's prompting to pray that, if I had only known that God would take me up on it.

Anyway. I've heard the saying, watch what you pray for. Hmmmm.

Well, Jim might be done soon, so I better shut up and go back up there.

Again, we won't know until Thursday whether we can come home or not. What's weird is that I am SO READY TO COME HOME. And yet I'M TERRIFIED TO COME HOME. Mary Joe, you got that so right last night. I'm glad you are involved in women's ministry. You are such a wise counselor.

As many of you are. I'm not singularly picking her out. All of you have offered me such needed offerings. Your gifts are all needed. In my bible study, I saw how often Paul wrote that his joy in the Lord was found in his christian brothers and sisters. I can honestly say I don't know how I would have made it without all of you and your love for the Lord and for using your gifts to hold me up. You have been my source of joy.

I just wanted again to say thanks in case my next blog post says nothing but "Coming Home." I just know I couldn't have made it these 6 months with you.

We love you all.
US

(Karen, my phone was dead and today I forgot it. The DVD was awesome. And thanks for the Tiara. Reminds me of a few years ago when we did Captivating.) Oh, how we forgot. But I like the twist she gave, about maybe, just maybe, the glimpse of our life in the Kingdom can be tasted through the childlike play of a princess and a knight.)

Is that Beth Moore something or what? I gotta tell you though. I'm a bit jealous of her. LOL. Isn't that funny. Nothing like repenting of jealousy of your teacher in the middle of a bible study. I wanna be Beth Moore when I grow up. :)