Day 15

First and foremost. My 27 days are up at the Lodge in 2 days. Do not send any mail to me there, as they will not hold it. I will be back at the lodge in 6 days.

Well, Jim got his booster cells. It was very anticlimatic, like the SCT day, but even more so, as it was only about 30 milliliter's of fluid. But that wasn't all cells, it was a bunch of other stuff. Probably only a small test tube worth of specific stem cells were in that batch. They were T cells.

(Joe, they were frozen in DMSO, and there was definately a garlic, corn flavor smell coming from Jim for about 24 hours, which kind of tells us that rubbing it into the skin doesn't carry through to the bloodstream.)

In that tablespoon of Stem cells, however, there were 2.15 billion stem cells. That's a lot, isn't it.

Jim's doing okay. His neuropathy is really bad though. It's not that he's just numb. He's numb and in pain. And it's very bad pain. I just feel bad for him. He can't get a break.

Today he looked at the little slide show that I have linked on this page of our fall before he got sick, when we were at the cottage, and that really got him going. He saw how much heavier he was and he saw himself when he was feeling well. And he longs for that so much, and it made him very sad. He's okay. It's good for him to feel all that and get it out. I just hope the roller coaster ride comes to an end for him.

Yesterday, I was a beast. I thought I was going to go nuts sitting in this cage. I spoke to Jim about some changes that I need to make, so that was good. So, the weather was a bit warmer today, and one of those changes was doing something that I really like and enjoy, and I decided to take a bike ride. I was only going to ride around the "compound." But as I pedaled up the hill towards the security gate, I asked the police officer if there was a sidewalk out there, and he said yes, and I was off. Before I know it, I was headed towards Bethesda. I drove all through the streets there, and then drove to the Crescent something or other bike trail. I road that almost into Washington DC, but realized this was the first time out, and 15 to 20 miles of biking was plenty. I already can feel the bike butt syndrome. Jim won't be the only one with a sore bottom tomorrow. Tomorrow, I am going to pick up where I left off. I am going to take the bike into the van, get on the bike path, and ride down into DC. I'm going to go onto Washington Memorial Parkway (beautiful) and drive through there. When I come back to the lodge six days from now, I am going to take the crescent trail in the opposition direction though Chevy Chase onto the rocky something or other bike trail and park the bike and go to the National Zoo and finally see the panda bears. I've wanted to see them every since my cousin Norma went to see them years ago. I've been trying to get there to see them every since we came. I've thought of my cousin Norma alot lately. She was a beautiful woman and I loved her. Cancer stole many years and many things from her.

I told Jim that today was the first day that I have felt alive since last summer. But actually that's not true, because last summer, I had very little hope of Jim being alive, and my understanding in hoping in God alone wasn't as fine tuned as it is now, so I was reacting more to the emotional swing of things, rather than responding. And since I can chose my response, it's more healthy. AND, it is easier also having some hope that maybe Jim will make it through this, too.

I really enjoyed my bike ride. Of course, all I could think about as I saw bamboo, and little streams was, "Wow, Jim would love this." If Jim were here, we would stop and have to go see if there are helgies under those rocks. If Jim were here... I petted a few dogs, saw some beautiful homes, etc.

On the way home, I stopped at the Giant grocery store. It's very similar to Giant Eagle. I bought a rotisserie chicken, some linguine sesame noodles and some iced tea, plopped them in my basket and off I went back here to the NIH where Jim and I had dinner together. I was a much happier camper today having got out to do something that I loved. John had checked my bike over before I came down, and I had my handy pump and tire repair kit, in case, but no mishaps, so that was good.

Well, I'm going to help my Jumbo get ready for bed.

On Monday, they are putting Jim under anesthesia and going to check out his seton surgery site. They need to start tightening this and getting these strings out of there, so he can be done with this. They want to see what is going on.

Well, I know the weather is getting warm at home, too. In fact maybe nobody is reading this because you are all outside. I am going to miss my home really bad this spring. I know that my galanthus are blooming now, soon to be followed by my purple bells. I planted a bunch of mini daffs in the front yard last fall, with some special purple bulb that I forgot the name of. They will bloom together. I put these under the Harry Lauder's Walking Stick in the front yard, and it's going to look beautiful, I know. Me and Leah planted them. Hey, sister, take a pic in April when they bloom and send them to me, so I can send them to Leah Belle. (Her name is Leah Joy, but for some reason at some point, Leah Belle popped out, and that's what I call her, but not to her face. I love her middle name, but I'm weird, and Leah Joy Belle just didn't sound right, so...) Okay anyway. I also bought a crab apple tree last year that is going to bloom like crazy and I'm sad that I am going to miss that.

But you know what. I hear the cherry trees in Washington are beautiful. :) I've always wanted to see them. And I got my bike.