I just realized that I'm still not over the fact that the UCN-O1 didn't work, and that we are trying regular chemo and STC that don't offer the great results and minimal side effects that UCN offered. As I said prior, I really thought the Lord was working this all out and Jim would be miraculously healed by this trial like many of the others with this disease have been. And when I think that didn't work for Jim, it almost breaks my heart...again.
I was fine today, until he told me that he was losing his hair again, and I saw it all over the pillow. It was a reminder of how mean chemo is. Which made me think of how slim Jim's chances are that medically he will come out of this. Which is another reminder of the fact that my dear dear precious husband will get just as sick as he was and....get the point?
He now weighs 208. He keeps losing weight. It also scares us that they haven't gotten back to us about whether any of the siblings are a match for the SCT. It's been enough time. Have they started looking in the national databank and have not told us? It's possible. They treat you like mushrooms here. Keep you in the dark and feed you horse manure.
Anyway, I just posted cause I don't have my journel here and don't have anyone to talk to and well...there it is.
Well, the nurse came in with Jim's dinner...delivered through the IV. Yum Yum.
1 comment:
Goodmorning to you both,
Jim get ready for Dollys Head Rubbing Growl. Infact do one for me Sister.He loves it even if he gives us that weird look when we do that.
I'm so sorry they arent up front with you guys. I know how you both are with wanting to know all and how things work etc. I know it's gotten you both this far. So I will pray today for compassion, and shot straight to the hip so to speak that God send in one doctor who will give you time of day.
Sister, you write on this blog whatever you need to write. You sound scared and I'll pray for that and so much more.
I have no words to write but know I have so much Love for you both.
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