Okay expedience...
JIM:- His bad liver numbers are 1/2 better than yesterday.
- His kidney numbers are almost close to normal
- His blood pressure which was 145 over 96 is going back down.
- His pulse is down from 145 to 88.
- His oxygen is still low, but that's because of the narcotics, but it's a bit better
- We actually had a conversation on the phone today, something we have not had in a very long time.
- He is voiding again, so the water is starting to come off. He has a long way to go yet, but he's in the right direction.
- Yesterday is the first time he had not complained of pain.
- HE THREW UP 3 TIMES....WE'RE BACK THERE AGAIN. That gets capital letters cause it involves me. :( ;)
I SWEAR IT'S TOM. Jim gets better when Tom's around. ;)
ME:
- Not sleeping well.
- Having a very hard time grieving the loss of this trial. Having a hard time accepting it.
- Now, I am just putting my hope in God, not for a cure, not for relief, not for anything. Just putting my hope in God. (On the advice of a good friend, despite us not really knowing what that looks like all the time, huh Rach? Hoping in God doesn't mean hoping for...fill in the blank. ) But I'm tired of statistics, percentages and in hoping that Jim gets better. With all the timing and stuff, I thought, "This is it, the miracle we've been waiting for, because so many with Jim's exact cancer were cured..." So, we're back to the puke bucket, but I'm not going down any more hope in anything bunny trails. This includes. This book, or that book. This alternative medicine, or that. Communion, prayers, healing services, drugs, trials, faith in faith, etc. I have felt like ragdoll carried around by a 2 year old, with my head spinning from all the suggestions and percentages and strong armed tactics and wheeling and dealing etc. I'm pooped. Jim's not given up, but I have. Not in Jim or God, but I've given up hoping in anything but getting through each day as it comes. :) I guess that's okay, huh?
YOU:
- If family, get those blood tests done.
- If not, thanks for loving us friends. We need it bad.
That was quick, huh?
PS for some: I got my mail. Thanks for the cards, anniversary, etc. And Bonnie, I LOVE LOU GIGLIO. Sorry, but I purchased all 3 CD's from that series a while ago, and actually just rewatched that particular one about hope not so long ago, because, as I said above. We were hoping in outcomes, rather than hoping in the author of outcomes. I'm going to pass is along. Has your mom seen it yet? I haven't had a chance to read your letter tho, because I didn't want to read it until I was with Jim and he could hear it. We love you, you sweetheart, you.
That last paragraph didn't make it unquick, did it?
Oh, I'm bad. I should be paying my and my dad's bills, while Tom and Judy are on the bucket brigade, but here I am doing e-mail and updates. Opps. Tee hee hee.
5 comments:
Could it be that the reason the Lord wanted you there is not for the trail itself but for the combo medicines they gave Jim?
Love and prayers
Karen
It is a big letdown that the trial didn't work. Could they really know definatively already? But despite their bad bedside manners, it would seem to me like you guys are at the best place to be for Uncle Jim's condition. At least that's how it sounded when you first got there. No one anywhere else seemed to have a clue about what to do for him. Just keep trusting in the Lord. I love you both and I am praying. Be at peace.
Love,
Judi
Jim & Gloria >
OZ calling again. See, I hadn't forgotten you two special people.
Today I quoted Obama for my RF'ers, "Our stories are individual but our destiny is shared".
Huggggs from Downunder. Love to you Both.
Gazman
Karen:
sure, it could, be Karen, but as I said, basically....whatever....God knows, I don't. And that's just perfect, because it requires nothing from me, which is about what I have left to give to anything. I had wrote a long letter to Kristen and Rachel explaining such. I have rode the rollercoaster of hope in this, that and everything. And right now, I prefer the merrygoround of "who knows, but God. Just give me the strength for life today."
Judi: Like I said, I wasn't convinced that the trial wasn't working, but Jim's vital signs were getting worse every day, and even Tom and Judy thought that Jim was dying. So, the docs went in a different direction. But seriously, I think if they would have listened to me and heard the history of Jim, which I knew so well, they could have tried it my way and at least gave the trial more days to tell, but, doc knows best, so....
Gazman: So crazy that you posted. I was going to e-mail you yesterday just to say "hey". So, "hey" my Aussie friend. I guess I was thinking of you because I was going to look to see if they have an trials on Retroperitoneal Fibrosis. Had you ever? You're right about the shared destiny.
Cheers, mate.
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