Hi Everyone:
Doc came in. They do not think the trial is working. They want to give Jim standard EPOCH chemo in hopes that it will shrink the tumor mass, in hopes for a stem cell transplant. We have to okay this. Jim's blood pressure is 155 over 96. His bilirubin is up. Heart rate is 135. He could end up in ICU with this treatment.
Jim still wishes he could wait and see if the trial is working by them giving him lasix and getting this now 22 pounds of water off his waist. Jim is very despressed.
We don't know what to do. He's considering coming home to die. I don't know what to do.
Please pray for us or the doctors.
It's hard not knowing what the Lord is doing until after it's done.
Thanks
Us
6 comments:
Dolly, only you and Jim, with God's guidence can make this decision. Yet, in my deepest gut I feel that the doctors are grasping at straws. This trial was what you agreed to. I don't feel that going beyond the trial, to do more and more treatment, is what is good for either you or Jim. My dear sweet friend, I feel that the only sain treatment remaining is prayer and resting in the hand of God. Dolly, in my own humble opinion Jim is already too bad to have any kind of normal healthy and happy life, outside of God's healing. I don't think he, or you, want him to live an extra six months, only to go through what you've been going through within those six months. That's not life. life is going to the cottage, fishing, finding new birds to add to your list, working on building a computer, singing, playing the piano, laughing at a movie, and loving each other. What you and Jim are experiencing is not life but hell on earth.
My dear friend, I would never lightly give you this advice. My fingers are trembling as I type, in my honest opinion I don't feel any more treatment, beyond the trial, is going to change the outcome, but only give you more and more hell to walk through. I love you. Please know that I take this VERY seriously and I would never just say this unless I feel it from the depths of my heart.
Of course, this is only my opinion. You and Jim are the only ones who can and should make the final decision. We love you and will 100% support what ever you decide.
all my love
Rach
Dearest friend, I went downstairs and grabbed Nathaniel and Bethany from their school work so that we could pray together. (Gary is at a meeting.) We prayed that God would totally be your guide and that all the voices except his would be silenced. We will continue to pray for his wisdom and his guidence and his comfort to be poured upon you both.
all our love
Rachel and the whole family
Jim and Dolly,
I got my kit today and am going out later to get blood drawn so they can test it for a match. I don't know what else to say. Hang in there and unless God tells you not to, do whatever they suggest and see if it works. I can't imagine how depressing this must be for you, because even for us that are far away it is super depressing. Jerry and I are considering visiting you. We love you and are praying constantly! Let me know if you want me to deposit this $200+ into your bank account somewhere (I'd just need the bank name and an account #)
~Junie
P.S. Everytime Karen prays, immediately these lyrics run through her mind. "Nothing is impossible for Thee. O, NOTHING is impossible for Thee. O, Great and Mighty God, Great in counsel and Mighty in deed, Nothing! Nothing! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Nothing is impossible for Thee!" PRAISE GOD!
I know the Baldauff family reads the blogs, hopefully you read the comments as well. Tom and I are going down to the clinic today, so you don't have to worry about wiring money. Also, Dolly has the okay to stay at the Lodge until Dec. 8th, so she has a place to stay. You can call our cell phones if you have any other questions. Love to everybody who has been praying and whose hearts are heavy.
Gloria,
Words seem meaningless at a time like this. Yet I feel compelled to write. I love you and echo everyone else who says that they are praying and love you both. May you know God's wisdom and peace and feel His embrace today. Love, Kimberly
I'm right there with everyone else. I'm glad you're not homeless, but I wish everyone was celebrating better news. Glad you're having visitors soon. We will continue to pray for God's guidance in all this. Trusting you to hold fast in the midst of this confusion and pain!
Love,
K
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