Phone e-mail, etc., chemo

Hi Guys:

Tom and Judy are on their way here, and I am so thankful for this.

My cell phone is a piece of crap, and that's why I can't call any of you. June. I wanted to give you my account number. Jim's tele # is 301-451-2972. Call if you still want it. Others, please restrict calling. The phone scares him, and he can't talk anyway. You can call on it now if you want to. I will be here for awhile. It's okay to call while I am here, but there is no way I can let you know I am here, unless I post. But I'm usually here.

Jim decided to do the EPOCH because it's not a standard treatment, in that they are adding different ingredients that they wouldn't do at the regular hopt. because of insurance companies and such. The doctors said that they would not in any way recommend this chemo or the stem cell transplant if they didn't think that Jim could reach long term remission or cure by either of these options. They wouldn't recommend this so that Jim could live 2 or 3 more months. They said that is not their position. They said Jim is young, and they are good at getting cancer to obey. There are no guarantees however. But that's okay because Jim isn't ready to give up yet. He could end up in the ICU however because the tumor burden is so large and causing lots of problems, and the new chemo will be taxing to his organs as well, so that isn't going to help him right away. So, continue to pray for him. I don't want him to die down here....or at home. I hate the whole home hospice stuff. And pray for Johnny, too. I know this is breaking his heart.

This will be an odd Thanksgiving for many of us. The whole Jim thing. I'm not home. No sister, no Johnny. Gina and Crunch, my niece and nephew have miscarried their baby, and she's in the hopt. and many in the Baldauff family are sick.

And for the first time in my adult life I won't be up at 3 a.m. standing in line for some stupid gift. But I will miss that. It was fun, I met people, and most importantly, if I was doing it, it would mean life were back to normal for me. :) Jim went with me 2 years ago. Last year, he was in too much pain, but the year before he went, and he loved it too. We had so much fun meeting people in line, sharing a common goal of saving a few bucks, drinking coffee to stay warm. Jim loved it. We had so much fun. It's those things that make people say yes to yet another chemo regimine. We pray it will work, of course.

Pray for a safe trip for Tom and Judy, too. This is the busiest traveling day in the year. And pray for safe travel for John and Leah, too, as they come into Pittsburgh. I was supposed to cook turkey, but that isn't happening. I'm not sure if my sister will be, with Gina miscarrying the baby. Someone make sure my babies (John and Leah) are okay and have some family around them. They are sad about their dad too, and I don't want them to feel lonely. And today is Leah's Birthday.

Okay, I'm rambling, trying to control something I think I can control, like....that whole last paragraph thing. I'm nervous. Very nervous.

Love Gloria