Hi Everyone:
Well, the doctor didn't want to see Jim. There isn't anything he could do for Jim, if there is anything he can do. Wait. If he could give another chemo, which I'm not sure Jim would agree to, he couldn't do it until next Monday, so he just said to up the pain pills if needed and monitor temp that it doesn't go above 100.5 (while on fever reducer) and if the water that is in creasing in his legs continues to increase, call then.
I was reading the story in Luke about the persistent widow. I remember that being one of my favorite bible stories as a young girl. My mother must have read it to me. I don't know where I would have heard it. I went to a Catholic school, so it's not like we read from the bible or heard bible stories, so I don't know. I'm not sure why that story resonates with me so much. I guess I've always felt like a little girl trying to get her father's or mother's attention. "Mom, mom mooooom...Dad, dad daaaaaaaaaaad." "What you pain in the a..." I've always felt that way with God too, like I somehow had to get his attention before he would listen to me. Now, I know that's NOT what that parable means, but I'm just explaining why it spoke to me as a small child.
Now, I know the context of this parable is in regards to someone asking "When will the Kingdom come." But it's still a parable about Jesus telling us to continue to pray and to not give up. And so, I pray and I pray and I pray. And you do, too.
Last night when Jim asked for prayer, he said that if things continued in the path that they are continuing now, he thinks he couldn't have more than 2 weeks to live. That's the first I've heard him say anything like that, and yet it's what I was thinking, too.
Today, his blood was pretty good. This is good. He's starting to retain water in his legs again, which means the tumors surround his vena cava and aorta. That isn't good.
So, I pray and I pray and I pray. I have got to wearing God down by now, haven't I?
Gloria
4 comments:
Sigh.... I feel like crying. You must be on overload.
Praying for you,
Maddy
Maddy, if the truth be known. I'm heart broken, beyond anything I can even imagine. I can't stop crying. Sometimes, I feel like my heart will just stop beating. Sometimes, I pray that it will.
Please pray for me.
Gloria
Thanks for your card. It was beautiful.
There are so many things that happen in our life that we can never understand the why's of it. The only "thing" we can hold onto is His unconditional love for us. To step into the glory of His presence to comfort and heal our hearts and perhaps heal our bodies...
He is the glory and the lifter of our heads and wants to hold you.
Many prayers and love for you.
Karen
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Dear Friend,
A chapter in a book I am reading is titled "Grieving Your Loss". I wanted to share with you a small section of this chapter.
"Consider bereavement. If a new widow maintains a stiff upper lip and deports herself with dignity, her friends support her. If during her bereavement she consistently falls apart, which is actually the appropriate and cleansing response to her tragedy, her friends counsel, "Now now, you're being too emotional. You must be brave, you must have faith." or, uncomfortable they simply back away from her completely.
Two hundred years ago, a bereavement called for a highly emotional response, and if the widow maintained a brave or stoic front, the depth of their love came into serious question. Our utter dependence on reason and cool logic is a recent cultural phenomenon, and it is likely to get in the way of true and healthy grief."
I just wanted to share that paragraph with you and say that I acknowledge along side of you that what you're going through really sucks and it's okay for you weep, scream, and get angry at the whole thing! In fact I am weeping, screaming, and angry at this moment with you!
I love you!
Rach
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