Friday, September 19, 2008

And it begins

Preparing for death, should that be God's will for Jim, is a very difficult thing.

I tried to find a picture, but couldn't off hand, and going through the pictures were too hard for me, so I stopped. But trust me on this one... Do you know that Jim every year makes me a lemon meringue pie for my birthday. That an quiche. But that pie. mmmmmmm. It's usually about 10 inches tall and anyone who has ever had a piece knows that it is the best lemon meringue pie they have ever eaten.

His pumpkin pie is it's equal. He loves that his son John loves it the best.

Jim is laying in bed writing down the recipes for me so that I have them.

Oh my soul...

4 comments:

Rachel said...

Dear dear friend, I cannot even imagine this process.

I know there are never any positive thoughts during such a time of grieving but one thing that I was thinking of was how blessed you are to have Jim home with you rather than flying half way around the world to try some new treatment as some do. This time will be very precious to you both. It's certainly not like your memories of the past but at least you have time together to say all those very important things to each other. Not even just the affirmation of your mutual love but even things that Jim may want to have written down for his grandchildren in order that they might know and love him too. Or as you are both doing in the sharing of recipes and discussing the ending of his life.

In any case, our love, thoughts and prayers are with you both always.

Isn't it funny to think that the things that whap us across the face and catch us so by surprise, never catch God off guard? I mean he knows ever moment of our life from the foundation of the world. This disease didn't surprise God. In some ways I take comfort in that because the shock of some situations carries half the pain but in other ways we want to shout, "If this didn't catch you off guard why didn't you prevent it?" These are the times when we rest in his sovereignty and yield ourselves to him even though our human minds cannot comprehend his ways. His grace will pull you through this. One thing that I heard Beth Moore share and I would like to share it with you. She talked of a dear friend of hers who lost her four year old child to cancer. Beth flipped out more than the mom and kept telling God that she could never bear such grief if something like that happened to her children. God spoke softly to her that his “manna” his provision, his grace is out there for those who grieve to grasp onto. They will certainly crumble into the depths of sorrow unless they grasp onto his garments and keep feeding on his daily grace. What she was trying to communicate to the listener who was grieving is that we will NOT make it through those situations unless we constantly crawl onto his lap and allow him to pour his grace upon us. I don’t believe that our pain goes away as he pours his grace upon us but through his grace we are given the ability to walk through deep sorrow, despite the paralyzing pain, where as without Jesus we would never make it. As I pray for you both, I pray that God’s enormous grace is poured upon you and that despite the obvious (and appropriate) incredible sadness, his grace will sustain you beyond measure.
I love you!
Rachel



"God relishes surprise. We want lives of simple, predictable ease—smooth, even trails as far as the eye can see—but God likes to go off-road. He provokes us with twists and turns. The challenges that make our hearts leap and stomachs churn invariably strengthen our faith and grant measures of wisdom and joy we would not experience otherwise."

Rachel said...

oops! Sorry about the ending paragraph. I did a spell check in OutLook and then copy and pasted it. Therefore, my typical "signiture" was included, which is appropriate for missions but NOT appropriate for the sorrow and pain of cancer. I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to be in this post. love you! me

k2shine said...

MMMMMMMMm had the pies. Jim is a great baker and makes great waffles and ribs. There's nothing that man can't do. I love him and my sister dolly. I'll find the pic for you sister.

Anonymous said...

Dear Uncle Jim and Aunt Dolly,

You are both a treasure to the Lord. You are carved on the palms of His hands.(Is 49:16)

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus; Look full in His wonderful face; And the things of earth will grow strangley dim; In the light of His glory and grace."

I love you both. I'm praying for healing and for the Lord to comfort you. Be at Peace.

Love,
Judi