Sunday, May 18, 2008

"My trials"...oh pleeze

Hi Everyone:

I just read my last post and laughed at my self. How this bowl of "spaghetti" changes daily is amazing to me. There are many times I would love to "feel" like a "waffle." (for those who have no idea what I'm talking about, I'll e-mail you if want to know.)

Anyway, I used the words, "My trials" in my last post and I either crack up laughing, or tsk tsk myself with shame, depending on how hard I am being on myself, when I think of it. Why? Well, in light of some of the stories that I read on "Voice of the Martyrs" my trials are well, um...pathetic? Well, they are, and they aren't. Someone else's pain never seemed to take mine away. Theirs might put mine into perspective...for a minute or two, but before I know it, it's all about me again. My options are to then again tsk tsk myself, again, or laugh at my humanity again. It's a big vicious circle. Like a dog chasing his tail...sort of. The difference is I am actually getting somewhere. When the big vicious circle of tail chasing is over, I may collapse all worn out, like my ole' dog Ruby, but I'm not in the same place that I was when it started. Where do I end up? Oh, just a little bit "more worthy of my calling" and "counted a bit more worthy of the kingdom of God." (2 Thess)

But if I take my pulse, and it's still beating...I know my thoughts and actions will always tend to want to go back to................ME.

So, enough about me. Let's talk about you. So, what do you think about me? (Fave passage from movie Beaches, even though I don't like that movie. I just always remembered that narcissistic quote. Wonder why???)

Actually, let's talk about Jim.

He's having a very hard time after this last chemo. I think it's a combo of him getting the chemo right after he was in the hospital for 8 days with bronchitis, and his weakened condition, and just the fact that each chemo is taking a toll on his body.

He's had a temperature almost every day. His white blood cell counts were the lowest ever. His hands and feet are more numb and shaking. He has more chills (now he knows how the spaghetti half live) and can't seem to get warm. And he's fighting for strength by pushing himself, but he doesn't get very far.

He has 1 more treatment left. He's not even certain he can get all of the 4 drugs that are part of that treatment because the numbness in his hands and feet can be permanent. Yet does he risk the chance that by not taking that one drug, his cancer's remission could be short circuited?
Anyway, continue to pray for him. We can't wait for this to be over. "Lord, let this be over."

Still trusting Him
Gloria

2 comments:

k2shine said...

talk about chasing your tail? read your first blog entry. Like that childs game Mother May I in this case Father May I. I know His gift of grace have gotten you both thru giant,big,small and backward steps. I've seen His love sent thru gift of others. Prayers, hugs,big ears, big shoulders,grass cutting, dinners,roofing replace etc. I also see the two of you giving to me and others even when you are to tired to do so. I Love You Both

Mary said...

I know what the waffle is!! I heard in on WORD on one of the shows once. Men put everything in one square and work on that square thingy. Women are all over the place like spaghetti and everything is interwoven. RIGHT?

Any ways, I hope this isn't offensive but you might go read the Voice of the Matyrs, I go read your blog. That does sound offensive...but I think of yinz guys' stregth and faith often especially when I think I'm going thru a thing or two.

Still praying...praying that this will all be over for yinz soon.

PS Please tell us where we can start looking for helges around here, please?

Love,

Mary