Well, my little old heart is just breaking. Jim's in so much pain. He went to the hospital (This time Presby) by ambulance.--Matt K, my nephew just called. He's so sweet. He wanted to know how Jim transitioned home. Well, it didn't go well. Jim's blood pressure is so high from the pain, and yet the high blood pressure meds can cause more pain. We just don't know. I feel like I'm going to lose him. And despite the fact that many think that would be a good thing at this point, it breaks my heart and I can't even begin to think of it. The feeling would be "well, Dolly, at least you don't have to...." Even Jim feels that way. And you know what. It's not that I "have" to. Despite how hard it is, it's not that I "have" to. It's that I "get" to. And yet the joy of having my dear husband with me is not enough to fuel me into continued mental health as I deal with this day in and day out.
I don't know what to say. We are empty. We feel totally utterly at the end of anything. Jim and I are one flesh. He feels that too. I have nothing else. My prayers are "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus..." My heart feels desolate. The desolation that comes from being abandoned and exposed for so long.
4 comments:
our hearts are with you and we are praying, praying, praying!!!! It is breaking our hearts, we so wish we could take it all away!
Love you both,
Tom and Judy
A cord of three strands is not easily broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12
Praying that our wonderful ever faithful Heavenly Father hears our crys for you, Jimbo and my Sister.
I Love You both so very much.
We love You and are with You in heart and prayer. MJB and JB
I'm so sad to read this. We are praying for relief and some amount of peace. You had mentioned that if the intensive care pain treatment didn't work, they had other ideas... Any news on that yet??
This probably sounds like a ridiculous question but how is uncle jims appetite? Does he have any types of food he doesn't tolerate well?
Please know we check in daily, and are thinking of you even more often. Love you both.
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