Monday, June 14, 2010

Hmmmmm

Apparently, "God, stop" isn't very effective in arguments with God.

However, we don't have to go to the NIH 2 weeks in a row. Hurray. We have to go, not this Thursday but next...maybe. Jim is having a CT scan here this Wednesday, and then possibly a drive to the NIH the following week.

The NIH thinks that Jim has the asper...black mold in his lungs, but it is colonized and is not causing an infection. The CT scan will verify whether that's true or not. So... if that's the case, then it's GVHD of the lungs, and we're not sure what that trial will look like and whether or not Jim will even participate. We are both THAT tired. What does the "that" mean? It means letting nature take it's course.

I can't even type that. Everything in me says FIGHT TO THE DEATH. But I can't get out of my chair to check on dinner. I"m THAT tired of it all myself.

Now Jim thinks that it's not GVHD, and that it's just asthma and such. But he doesn't smoke and it just developed because it wasn't showing on any of the PET scans prior to...So, I'm not sure if Jim is trying to fool himself to give himself the okay, or whether to maybe listen up. Jim's not a dummy. So..

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

well, I'm glad at least you get a break from driving to the NIH this week.

If it's any consolation...which it's probably not...I'd be tired too...

Keep taking your case to God, and we will too.

As I type, the song "Held" by Natalie Grant is playing...I pray tonight that you will be held by God through your exhaustion and "sick to death of all this" time.

Come, Lord Jesus!

Love to you and Jim,

K

Anonymous said...

Thanks Kristen. You're the best. I love you.