Jim had surgery on a cyst that ruptured on the back of his leg, that was majorly infected. Doctor Death left a 3" gaping whole in his leg that I am supposed to change the dressing on twice a day. I was with him in the room during the surgery, and after 5 shots of Novocaine, he only almost broke my hand off, the pain was so intense.
What came out, wasn't pretty. AT ALL. There was so much infection, that it's so painful for him. They gave us 2 pieces of gauze and 1 sterile Q-tip. No written instructions, but told us to do what it is the nurse just did, most of what I didn't see cause I was looking at Jim and praying for him. I am to change the dressing and to take the Q-tip and shove it into all the hole and pack it, and then cover it. They said it WOULD NOT be painful to change the dressing. THEY LIED.
YEAH...WELL, EVERYTHING THEY SAID AND GAVE IS NOTHING. Directions online are totally different than theirs, and And he's already on pain killers for the neuropathy, and they don't help any pain.
Last night I started to pull the gauze out of the whole, but he screamed it hurt so bad. So he went into the shower to wash water through it, in case some dried and attached to the inside of him, and I still could not take it out. It's now going on 24 hours, and who knows what's going on in there. I have blood on 2 rugs, and I'm shaking from the fear and frustration. I feel like I have finally just reached my limit; a limit that has been reached how many times. I just can't take another day of health care. It consumes my life and has been for 2 years now. And that's just too bad now, isn't. God's grace is sufficient for me. And in that there are...well, that's not for everyone, as I don't think many care about all aspects of what's going on. Friends and family that have been able to hang in there with us know and we've talked through it. If you haven't, I understand that our life is very intense for you as well, and that people just have to pull away. It's too intense for me. We do get that. It hurts, but it's all part of this beautiful purging that God is doing. I know many of you are praying as well. But thank you to the couple of you who have been faithful in letting us feel your love that has been so lacking. Without you, I think we would have abandoned ship. Whatever that means.
I'm done bleeding now. Back to the patient. He's bleeding, too. His platelets are VERY LOW. 40. So, he's not clotting and it keeps bleeding. Can't get nurse home care, and the only doctor who does care is not on call, but replaced by Doctor Death, who I wouldn't take my dog to see. I called my niece who is a nurse, but we think she's on vacation. Yes, one of my best friends is a nurse, but she hasn't called in 6 months. It's just part of the purging.
Just pray for us. I could possibly see us having to leave to go to Maryland so that they can attend him down there, and the thought of that makes me want to just crawl into a ball and cry. Worse, is them calling with instructions for me to do it. Another holiday in Bethesda, who cares. Another drive, who cares. But how do I get him there when he can't sit on his leg???
If I have to do it, pray that I can find the supplies. I went to the drug store, and they didn't have sterile Q-tips, but you can find 49 shades of blush and 100 shades of eye-shadow. 2 aisles of candy, 1 aisle of cards, and 3 aisles of Christmas decorations.
Pray
US
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