Hi Everyone:
Well, that went easier. I'm referring to the staying at the hotel. It was so less traumatic on Jim, hence on me, so for now we will continue to do the commute the night before and stay at the hotel.
On the 14th day post transplant, he was 85 percent engrafted. At day 28, he was 89 percent engrafted. There is another thing in the blood that they monitor, and that is 42 percent engrafted, so that's heading in the right direction, too, but the main number is 89. So that is 4 percent up from the last time, which is good.
Jim's appt was long. He was unable to get much needed physical therapy because of snafu's. He needed to get hydrated because his creatinine was high. He needs to drink more water. The drugs he takes are hard on his body. They are also giving him a drug called procrit, which helps stimulate red blood cell production. I just came back from reading about it on the website, and I have to ask WHY IS JIM ON THIS....THE RISKS SEEM INSANE... Anyway, he's on that now. His blood is still slow and Jim is so very weak.
Despite the better state of health that Jim is in (compared to having cancer) it's still so touch and go. And it seems a miracle to us that he could ever possibly even get a bit of strength back. I think he has zero muscles.
Me? Well, every night my legs are swollen. I have no idea what that is about. I would say, "well, I have to get off of them, since I'm on them all the time, but that is nothing new, so I have no idea what that is all about. I'm feeling so old. I wonder if either of us will ever be the same, or even resemble our old selves, if not in looks, at least in spirit. It doesn't seem so.
Also, I tend to want to say, "If Jim's cancer doesn't come back" after everything I write or say about him, like somehow a reminder to you, to me, to???
I wonder. Will I still have friends when I get home? Will my honeybee remember me? Will I open the swimming pool? Will I still have the beginnings of new friendships I was making? How about Jim? Will he ever be able to cook breakfast for his men's breakfasts? Will we ever get to church? Will we will have a church? Will our 3rd pew still be "ours?" Will my garden be overtaken with weeds? Will my house survive the spring rains without me there to clear the driveway drain? Will I have any tomatoes or beans in my garden this year? Probably not. Sad to me.. Plus 20 million other questions.
Well, I better get this day started and live in the present.
Peace
Us
4 comments:
You said: "Will I still have the beginnings of new friendships I was making?"
If you mean us, the answer is definitely.
Our love and prayers to you both.
Maybe you can help me with my little garden this year.... seems you have a lot you can teach me.
Maddy (and Sam, too)
Hello dear friend,
I've missed you! I'm so glad you're still doing the blog. I check it constantly in hopes of hearing how you are doing. Maybe this is for an e-mail and not the blog but I want to share it anyway. I know there are no promises that say, "Everything will work out alright". NONE! I know and you know that we are called to walk the cross with Jesus and for him everything was not alright until he died! But I want to share this with you as a testimony of God's grace and mercy and his power to restore all things.
I too, had those thoughts that you've been having. They had different specifics but I certainly had them. Would I ever be pretty again? Would I ever not have the stigma of poverty attached to me? Would I ever not be on Welfare? Would I ever be able to afford toilet paper and make up? Would I be able to buy a new dress and smile again? Would the joy of Jesus ever shine through me rather than the agony of poverty? Would “the church” ever stop sneering at me and welcome me with love?
This Sunday I experienced great healing and restoration from the ten years of intense suffering. Suddenly there I was up front leading worship in church! I had on a pretty dress and everyone told me that I looked like an angel. Part of me wanted to laugh and say, "Would you say that if you knew me a few years ago? Would you think I was an angel if you saw me on Welfare and not even a dollar to buy toilet paper to wipe my butt?" Yet, I wasn't cynical but intensely joyful. I felt the a measure of restoration of the days of suffering. I saw the years that the locust had eaten being restored and it brought incredible joy to my heart.
My dear friend, our suffering has been different but the emotional response is the same. You’ve had incredible loss and you are powerless to change your circumstances. It’s that feeling of helplessness that is a hallmark of suffering for Jesus. There’s nothing in our power, in our strength, or in our mental ability that could possibly restore the years that the locust have eaten. There’s nothing we can do to help ourselves.
I won’t give you easy answers because the Bible doesn’t give easy answers. Hebrews 11 is one of my favorite, well it is my favorite part of scripture. Not because of the victory of faith but because the description of both the victory of faith and the faith that does not experience the miraculous recovery. I don’t have time to type it all out for you but if you read Hebrews 11 you will see that the first part of the description of those who suffered for their faith experienced incredible miraculous deliverances. But the second half is full of people who suffered who did not receive miraculous deliverances! That has been a great comfort to me! LOL odd I know! But it shows me that those who receive deliverance and those who don’t are all lumped together and celebrated for their suffering faith and sharing in the cross of Christ. Those who walk in faith are victorious whether they have the victory on earth or not.
My dear friend, I do not know if you will receive your loved one back from the dead and conquer kingdoms. But I do know that there is a great cloud of witnesses cheering you on for your great faith and trust in HIM! I don’t know if you will have your restoration but I do know that God calls you faithful and is waiting with open arms to tell you “WELL DONE! MY GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVANT!”
I love you!
Rach
“The saint who has had the best year in God’s sight is not the one who has had an easy path, or has achieved the highest success; not the one whose praises filled the lips of men, but the one who has known the deepest humblings in the presence of the Highest One, and who has bowed lowest at His feet.” -Helena Garratt
What Maddie said...me too!
Kimber
You will have friends and new friends. Of course you will have your church. The third pew might be a problem till we get back to 2 services but when you come back we'll save it for you:) If Jim can't cook the men will cook for him. We can all weed your garden and we can all take turns cleaning your drain. You can hve beans and tomatoes from our garden and other peoples I am sure. It will be okay. Notice you have time to think about those things more and more. Could be a good sign:)
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