Well, I called, and left a message. So, now we just wait.
It's amazing how hard it is for me, when just days ago I WOULD HAVE BET THE WORLD that I had this tiger tamed.
So, Jim and I pray to open the doors wide for this trial or to close them, and that we will trust in Him, come what may. And of course, my heart wants them wide open. And now I find myself saddened by trusting in my God. Why is trusting God such an issue for me over and over and over and.....I'm so sick of it. Well, maybe it's not trusting God, but trusting God for positive stuff that scares me so. Once bitten, twice shy. Nice song, but come on, this is my God I'm talking about here.
And to add fuel to that fire, some of you know KNOW KNOW for months how I fought to have his slides sent down there, to be a part of this trial, to only run into snafu's and doctor's better suggestions...like the Cleveland Clinic. Yeah, that certain was worth it. I'm so angry that I didn't do what I wanted, which was NCI and not CC. I'm frustrated with that. But I know I have to let it go, and so I will. But it's there at the door of my heart taunting me with its macabre melodic ha ha, ha ha ha.
Gloria
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