Well, we are off to the hopt. as soon as they get his room clean.
They couldn't get Jim an MRI as an outpatient until next Tuesday. Well, that's not good. Plus, he's having lots of pain, still despite the increase of pain meds, and they will also get the pain team involved and who knows what else.
I have to plainly say that I am NOT handling this well at all. Or am I? What is "handling something like this well" look like, or sound like? If there a proper way? Some say, keep your eyes up, but then I trip over reality. Some say look at reality. But I have no way of knowing what reality is. Only God knows the future. And then there is the whole feelings quagmire. I guess that's where I'm feeling it's not going well. I cry and cry and cry. Not very much fun for Jim. So, what do I do...take a pill, some say. Why? I'm not depressed. Or am I? And if I am, shouldn't I be? Some say, "No, you have the Lord." Some say, "Yes, even David was depressed."
Can you tell my head is spinning? But hey, I'm still praising God and lifting my eyes up there, from where my help comes from, so I guess, I'm okay, huh?
Am I? Yikes!!!!!!!!
Okay, gotta go.
Room 6110, Passavant.
We love you
2 comments:
I know you have family around but if you need anything you can ask us. I find it hard to believe there is a proper way to handle this kind of thing. We will keep praying and praying.
Love
Nancy
“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.”
Praying that he will wipe every tear from your eyes, this side of Heaven. Our only hope is in Jesus and in the resurrection. In this hope we persevere and wait in hopeful expectation for the day when we will see him face to face. All the wrongs of the world will be made right and all the pain will be washed away in his love and in his presence. I know your concern right now is living on this painful old earth without Jim. Yet, as we look into the face of Jesus and into the breadth of eternity, we know that this life is a vapor. It is a tiny little “blip” in the vastness of eternity. A few weeks ago we were discussing Revelation. It doesn’t matter to me whether you are pre-trip, post trip or pan-trip. (It will all pan out in the end! ) What is important in the book of Revelation is the message to persevere through suffering, through trials, through hideous pain because our redemption is near! Our savior is coming and he will wipe away all of our tears for all of eternity. Can you imagine eternity without pain? Without tears? Without sorrow? We will see him face to face and live in his glorious presence forever and ever and ever. Our hope is not in this sin filled and sorrow filled world but our hope is in Christ and in the eternity which will right all the wrongs and allow us to walk in the cool of the evening with our God as Adam and Eve did many many years ago.
This doesn’t take away the pain, or make it light and easy, nothing can do that for pain is pain and to ignore it is insanity. But our hope in Christ gives us perseverance through the intensity of pain. Praying that the God of hope fills you with a vision of himself that is so large and so beautiful that the obvious pain you are walking through dims in the light of our hope in Christ.
I love you!
Rach
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