Dear Worrywarts

Sorry, guys that I have been so short and quick lately.

John and Leah came home yesterday and we've been at the hospital all last night. And then this morning, they kidnapped me and made me have fun at Soergel's Apple Orchard, and then we went to the hospital again, and we've just got home, and now we're going to play a game and make carmel apples.

JIM:

However, Jim is doing okay. The pain is about the same. I'm glad he stayed in the hopt. He's retaining A LOT of water in his legs, so the tumors are really engulfing the vena cava. They gave him Lasix to remove some of it, but he's going to need several days of that. I bet he has about 15 pounds of water in his legs. Hopefully the radiation will help destroy that tumor and keep it at bay. If it can't, that obviously is not good at all.

ME:

I can't say, "I'm worried" or "I'm feeling more hopeful" because every day it is totally different. For 2 days I was pretty weird. (read the post from 2 days ago) Although I was feeling different stuff and it was real, I think I was just emotionally spent. I mean I had been crying every day, every single day, sometimes barrels of tears. And then 3 days ago it just stopped. Maybe I ran out for a while. Well, I must have refueled, because it's starting to build up again.

Have "the kids" here have helped me alot. They're young, and they're sad, of course, but...they're young and in love and hopeful, and it reminds me of when I used to live there and how nice it was.

Leah played this song on the way home, something about some seashore and living their with her husband and escaping the world. The song was so young and vibrant and hopeful and lovely. To the young, it's their future, bright with their hopes and dreams. To me, it sounded like heaven, it's awaiting heaven. (Sorry, Rach....don't mean to sound so old, but you gotta admit, you've got to see by now, why it is that I tend to sound that way...)

Anyway, sorry I didn't e-mail anyone or call anyone or even update. "The kids" are leaving early tomorrow, and I'm going to spend the day with Jim. Who knew...

Love Gloria