Tuesday, September 23, 2008

BLUE EYES

Hello friends and family:

I just wanted to first say that I love you. Thank you for allowing me to cry. Thank you for allowing me to vent. Thank you for your encouragement. And mostly, thank you for your prayers. I need them and feel them.

Thank you for visiting us at the hospital and for the offers of visiting us at the hospital. Thanks for books, cards, and a hand that reaches out in love. Thanks for a genuine offer.

Many neices and nephews want to see and talk to Jim. I encourage any of you to go and visit him at Passavant if you would like to see him. He will be in there through Friday night, possible Saturday. He will do well while in the hospital, but will progressively get sicker as I bring him home, so that's not the time to visit. Plus, I'm out of coffee. ;) He loves you all so much. It's hard in a big family to always be there, to always be available and you don't see a lot of each other. But he really loves you guys.

And this big family affects me the same way. Since this has happened, I really understand and feel your love for me as well. Thanks for loving me, too.

Jim is in the hospital receiving the MINT chemo. It started yesterday. They gave him a shot for nausea and it really really bonked him out.

Eyes freak me out a bit. Thinking of poking them, losing them, etc. At the Chinese restaurant, lychees look a bit like eye balls, and it's weird to me. Although I will eat them. Sometimes I've had to stop.

Jim has beautiful blue eyes. They have lost some of their hope, some of their twinkle, and some of their vibrance. But they haven't lost their love for me. So, I look at them and I rest there. Through this sickness, I have looked at his eyes to see his love for me, knowing that he often can't show it any other way because of the cancer, nausea and weakness. One glance, and our polished-by-God history becomes present.

Jim's new chemo will make the white of his eyes blue for 24 hours. I don't want to have to see that in him. And yet I don't want to miss a day of his eyes. Pray they don't turn blue. I know that sounds silly, but it's not to me.

Okay. Well, I'm going to get ready for the hospital and to visit my dear husband.

Bye for now
Love Gloria

2 comments:

Rachel said...

Dearest friend,
I am about to go have my prayer time. I will pray about Jim's eyes. That sounds creepy and the last thing you need right now is your beloved's eyes to creep you out!

I love you! I will pray right now.
Rach

Laura said...

Praying for you daily...thanks for sharing your heart ....I cry, I read, I cry, I pray....I am always drawn closer to God as I read your latest......
Love, Laura Hoekstra