Well, we were to go to the NIH tomorrow, but Jim can't make it. He's done nothing but lay in bed most of the time the past 3 months, with the exception of a few faked attempts at life and shopping trips. He's in too much pain/sickness/depression to make the trip, and quite frankly, I'm too depressed to take him. I heard him tell the lady he doesn't believe that he will be back again. I'm inclined to think that that is true.
I would say that for the most part, we have given up. I'm not sure what that means even. Given up trying, caring, hoping, feeling, waiting, living. It's been that way for a long time, perhaps it's just time to admit it. All I do is work myself to death and feel lonely and disconnected, with no desire or energy to connect, and Jim, well, he lays around sick and in pain. The only thing that brings any satisfaction is bible study and after 10 months of inductive, well, I'm beat with that and need some time off. 3 weeks to go.
Well, I won't be reporting what happened at the NIH, since we aren't going, and nothing is new except for more sickness and pain. So, I think I'll post when something really good happens. I'm thinking you won't be reading for a long time, if ever again. Sigh...
6 comments:
Announcement. Listen Up, Yall and Yinze.
- I've declared Today : CARE FOR CAREGIVERS DAY
Banjo Gaz
Wish I was there to hug on you.
Amy
G - I did mean to confirm earlier that from reports I saw the med coumadin was a pesticide in its early days ... like its cousin, warfarin.
Today I saw where the drug Paradaxa (dabigatran etexilate mesylate)is working well for atrial fibulartion/irregular heartbeat. It is normally used as a blood thinner/anticoagulant for preventing blood clots. Maybe it's an alternative to ask the Dr about. It has all of the normal precautions to take.
Banjo Gaz
Hi Jim and Dol, I just read the latest and I want to hug You also( Amy's reaction). I don't understand, I know You don't . We will keep on praying and believing. I know that in long trials where You feel like something has to change; You can't change it ,only God can-there's something about that calling out in desperation that God hears. It catches His heart and He lifts things enough that You can get through. That's what I'm praying for. I know You just want the pain to stop. Love,MJB
I hope you keep posting if it helps you to unload. I may have missed this, but what is the cause of his pain? Do the doctors know? I am praying for both of you. xo
did someone cut the grass at the cottage yet? Let us know and maybe we can cut it this weekend.
Love and prayers,
Judy
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