What to do

Jim is still in the hospital, potentially being released today. I have to chip through the ice, pay my bills, my dad's bills, go to the bank, get prescriptions filled, pick up Jim, laundry, pack our stuff, load the van, 20 other things and take off tomorrow. AND I'M SICK...

I'm not sure what we are taking off to. Because this Seton surgery that Jim had won't be resolved for 2 months, that takes us into the SCT time. Will they do the transplant with this Seton site not finished, as it can be a source of infection? Does this mean drive down there and stay or not? I don't know. I don't have a hotel room reserved, as I don't even know what is happening. They want us back down their for an EVALUATION. We think we are going for chemo and prep for transplant. Now, we don't know. If there is no chemo and SCT, then it's back home so Jim can go back on hospice so that he die with dignity. This is insane. It's almost laughable, except my laugh might sound like something from that song. "They're coming to take me away, ha ha. They're coming to take me away....to the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time, and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white shirts, they're coming to take me away, ho ho hee hee ha ha... So, as I'm walking past the fridge, I saw this. I thought about it, and quickly broke it down into 2 groups of truth. Here's quickly what I came up with and what I have to try and remember.

2 Cor 4:7-18 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body.

.... Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

I have had that scripture on the fridge for months. Broken down, I know that:

• The power for this does not come from me, from within, like many would have us believe.
• We are hard-pressed
• We are Perplexed
• We are Persecuted
• We are Struck down
• We carry around in our body the death of Jesus
• Outwardly we are wasting away
• We have troubles
• Our eyes have a tendency to stay stuck in seeing what is in front of us

I also know from this scripture that:

• The power to handle this life is from God.
• We are not crushed
• We are not in despair
• We are not abandoned
• We are not destroyed
• The life of Jesus is revealed in our body
• Inwardly, we are renewed daily
• These troubles are light and momentary
• We have to fix our eyes on what is not seen - HEAVEN, being with GOD, JESUS, HS
• Our troubles achieve for us an eternal glory that outweighs these same troubles

I wish I had about an hour or two to spend breaking these verses down, Kay Arthur style. To study the word "fix." What it means to truly "fix" our eyes on what is not seen. I miss doing that type of bible study, but even real quick, I can pull the truth out of this and carry on. Thank you Lord for that.

THAT....AND YOUR PRAYERS. We really need them. I am extremely exhausted...hey, that wasn't mentioned there, was it? I bet if I studied those words in the Greek, one of them probably means exhausted...lol. Anyway. I would be lost without your prayers.

Gloria